Dear Dr. Janspire,
I am 89 years old, living in Cairo, Egypt. I have been a fan of your services for years and need your advice yet again for a problem that is very serious. Ever since my SLOB of a maid broke the glass and refused to throw it out and a piece of glass got into my tea cup. I accidentally drank it and to my surprise, it felt fabulous running down my trachea. Ever since then, I haven’t been able to stop consuming glass products. I just love how they taste! I love Snapple bottles the best(I let my servants drink the liquid and I eat the bottle ) and occasionally I will have a beer bottle yet it’s not nearly as good as the Snapple. My boss at the pyramids has begun to pay me in glass products.
One day at work, my coworker saw me eating his thousand dollar snow globe and flipped out. He screamed and called the police on me and I am now in jail writing this to you! The only way they’ll release me is if I stop eating glass. Have any advice on how to stop my glass eating escapades?
Sincerely,
Cooped Up in Cairo
therapy4u said,
January 1, 2008 @ 5:09 am
Dear Cooped Up,
My best advice would be to find an alternative to your glass-eating habit. For example, I once saw a soap-opera in which a man addicted to marmalade ingested Q-Tips as a distraction. I would suggest ingesting something similar to glass, such as feasting on metals. Whether boiled, grilled, or stewed, metals contain vital sources of iron and a rich flavor to keep your precious body healthy. Gradually downgrade to lighter, softer metals, like tinfoil and eventually paper. From there, go to normal foods and enjoy a glass-free diet. Good luck!
Yours Sincerely,
Halim Janspire, Ph.D