Dr. Janspire's Therapy4u

Back to School

therapy4u — Fri, 29 Aug 2008 23:27:55 +0000

Hello there all you college bound kids! I wanted to give some advice to you all as you embark on a journey that will shape the rest of you education career and life. First off, always remember to take some time for yourself amidst the hustle and bustle of college life. Also, make sure to focus on school work and moderate the amount of time you spend out with new friends; it’s easy to get caught up in the college party life and lose track of the reason why you came to college in the first place. College is one of the greatest experiences and you can only do it once so don’t ثمل up!

Your humble martyr,

Janspire

New Look For The Site

therapy4u — Fri, 29 Aug 2008 23:18:45 +0000

Hey there Dr. Janspire fans-

I thought that in order to attract new patients and fans, a new look around the site would be a good idea. The reason I chose this green theme is to promote serenity and peace. Please feel free to post problems and I will be sure to respond. Have a great beginning of the school year and end of summer.

Sincerely,

Dr. Halim Janspire

No Boys

therapy4u — Sat, 09 Aug 2008 20:26:22 +0000

Dear Dr. Janspire,

I would like to consult with you about a problem I’ve been having lately. Actually, it has been going on ever since I turned 13 and had my first boyfriend. Men ask me out all the time on the street, yet after date one, they never call me back or kiss me goodbye. I’m a very nice person, many people can back me up on that so I don’t believe that it’s my attitude. Also, it’s not like I’m not normal or anything. Sometimes I don’t like to shower, shave my legs, brush my teeth, wear deodorant or even urinate or defecate in the toilet. I acknowledge that many people use these amenities but I feel that there is a resurgence in going back to nature. Please try to help me figure out why men always leave.

Sucie Dadde

Strange Pictures

therapy4u — Sat, 09 Aug 2008 19:56:09 +0000

Dear Dr. Janspire
I live in Las Vegas. I work at a photo developing company. Last week a man came
in to my store with pictures of strange things, like a cucumber with googly eye
taped on, and a tiger holding a pare of scissors. That night i thought about the
pictures. The next day the man came back to pick up the pictures. I asked him
what the pictures were of and he told me to go with him in to his car to meet
his wife. His wife was an armodilla with the chiken pox. The man then asked me
to be his pen pal. At this point I started to relise that the man was not right
in the head. Anyway i said yes to the pen pal offer. We wrote a little bit. And
he told me strange things. I am starting to belive that this man is in to cock
fighting. Should i tell the police or should i let it go.

Purpostaristly puzzled in panama.

Living As a Hyalophagiac

therapy4u — Tue, 01 Jan 2008 04:59:55 +0000

Dear Dr. Janspire,

I am 89 years old, living in Cairo, Egypt. I have been a fan of your services for years and need your advice yet again for a problem that is very serious. Ever since my SLOB of a maid broke the glass and refused to throw it out and a piece of glass got into my tea cup. I accidentally drank it and to my surprise, it felt fabulous running down my trachea. Ever since then, I haven’t been able to stop consuming glass products. I just love how they taste! I love Snapple bottles the best(I let my servants drink the liquid and I eat the bottle ) and occasionally I will have a beer bottle yet it’s not nearly as good as the Snapple. My boss at the pyramids has begun to pay me in glass products.

One day at work, my coworker saw me eating his thousand dollar snow globe and flipped out. He screamed and called the police on me and I am now in jail writing this to you! The only way they’ll release me is if I stop eating glass. Have any advice on how to stop my glass eating escapades?

Sincerely,

Cooped Up in Cairo

In Love With Half-Sister

therapy4u — Tue, 01 Jan 2008 01:21:31 +0000

Dear Dr. Janspire,

About 15 years ago my father divorced my mother and married his longtime love, Marilyn and together they had a baby girl, Lily. I’m 4 years older than Lily and this year I realized that I was deeply in love with her. And this is not sibling love we’re talking about here. It’s real love. Every night I dream about running off with her. You’d think that it’s weird to be in love with her now well, because I’ve lived with her for 15 years, but that’s not true. I’ve lived with my mom and I just met Lily. In fact, I didn’t know Lily existed until a month ago where I met her at the beach. We flirted for a while and we both really liked each other. We would call each other every night but then one day, she called me and told me that she told her parents about me and well, they told her that she couldn’t see me anymore. She cried for days on end and I didn’t know how to comfort her. She called me a week later and told me that he parents told her that I was actually her half-brother. We were both freaked out and we’ve been trying to figure out what to do. Any advice on how to handle this?

Thank you,

Dazed and confused in Dallas

A letter from our first viewer:

therapy4u — Tue, 01 Jan 2008 00:16:28 +0000

Dear Dr. Janspire,

I am a girl, but I feel that my time on this planet would be enhanced if I were male. However, my parents completely disagree with my decision. How do I proceed?

Unhappily yours,

Shamed She-male in Chicago